I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
