Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
