he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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