Operation Purity has been aborted
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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