I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
