so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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