I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
