her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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