Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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