Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
