i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize