She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
