are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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