just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
