I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
