she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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