Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
