So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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