so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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