is your mom at the bar?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sext me about skeletons
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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