Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize