Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
