i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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