Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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