Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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