She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
