Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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