Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
