Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize