I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
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