It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
