Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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