Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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