Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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