12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
