Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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