dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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