Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
NoShamevember. You game?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
