Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize