We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
