i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
