My friends, they love my intelligence
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
