I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
