It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
