I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
