it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
