I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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