Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
