i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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