And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
