i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
