Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize