I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
