my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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