if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
