I hate your face
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I cut my penus on the lid.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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