1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
