It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
