let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
