drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
