she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I need a burrito and a hug.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
