There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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