there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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