I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
