they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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