Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
