What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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