CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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