You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
