By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
