You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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