Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
