Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
