I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
