Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
