so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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