You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
