Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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