High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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