i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
