You made me cry and you don't even care
Porn is love you can see.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
