It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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