So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
