I will die if light touches me.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He better not be in your backpack
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
