the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
