you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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